“Dear Internet” by Tina Fey
From PerezHilton.com/Posted by jerkstore on Wednesday, 1/21/2009, 11:21 P.M.
“In my opinion Tina Fey completely ruined SNL. The only reason she’s celebrated is because she’s a woman and an outspoken liberal. She has not a single funny bone in her body.”
Huzzah for the Truth Teller! Women in this country have been over-celebrated for too long. Just last night there was a story on my local news about a “missing girl,” and they must have dedicated seven or eight minutes to “where she was last seen” and “how she might have been abducted by a close family friend,” and I thought, “What is this, the News for Chicks?” Then there was some story about Hillary Clinton flying to some country because she’s secretary of state. Why do we keep talking about these dumdums? We are a society that constantly celebrates no one but women and it must stop! I want to hear what the men of the world have been up to. What fun new guns have they invented? What are they raping these days? What’s Michael Bay’s next film going to be?
When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn’t think anyone would notice, but I persevered because—like you trying to do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle—it was a labor of love.
I’m not one to toot my own horn, but I feel safe with you, jerkstore, so I’ll say it. Everything you ever hated on SNL was by me, and anything you ever liked was by someone else who did it against my will.
P.S. You know who does have a funny bone in her body? Your mom every night for a dollar.”
Tina can ruin my internet anytime she like’s!!!
“Only River Song gets to call me that.”
God I love River (Alex)!!!
My Christmas present from my wife, I’ll be spending a lot of time at the range. At least this will take my mind off these fucking Headache’s I’m still having!!!
Here I thought that I was finally rid of those damn headache’s. But it looks like I was wrong, they are back with a vengeance. I had a dream a few weeks ago, I dreamt that I had a massive headache, and my nose started to bleed. So I went into my bathroom to get the nose bleed stopped. Just when I get it stopped, I turned around and standing right behind me was my mother. Now normally this wouldn’t have been a problem, but my mother passed away April 20th, 2012. She had three massive tumors on the right side of her brain. Anyway, to get back to my dream. My Mother asks me what is wrong, and I tell her. Then she looks at me with these really sad eyes and says, you know you have the same thing that I had. Since you can’t have a MRI, the Doctors won’t find them until it’s too late. I have had two CT scans, but because I still have a set of Medtronic leads in my heart and chest, an MRI is not possible. This surprised the hell out of me, and I turned back to splash water on my face, and after I was finished, I turned around to ask her something, and she was gone. I’m not a superstitious person, but this woke me right up, and I still can’t get it out of my mind. I have yet to tell my Doctor about this, I really don’t want her to think I’m loosing it.
On September 1st 2010 at 9:15am CST, I was driving my 2010 Ford Fusion, when the lead to my Pacemaker/Defibrillator fractured. The device sensed that my heart had stopped, so it proceeded to deliver a series of electrical shocks to restart my heart. But my heart hadn’t stopped, but the device didn’t know that. I got my car pulled over, and switched places with my wife. She then drove 3 miles to the Hospital. in the 8 minutes that it took her to drive 3 miles, the device continued to shock me. If you have never had a defibrillator shock you, it’s not something that I would wish on anyone.
I was shocked a total of 15 times, most hearts do not survive more than 5 shocks. I was lucky, that my heart wasn’t as week as my Cardiologist had thought. Last year on July 6th, 2011 my Cardiologist removed my device from my chest, because I no longer needed it. Well to make a long story short, I’m still having problems with the incision, and I still have phantom shocks, along with anxiety attacks. Plus my Doctor left the fractured leads inside my chest and heart. This also causes a number of problems, I can’t have an MRI, I can’t lift weights like I used to.
But I guess I’m one of the lucky ones who had these defective leads. Some patients died from the same problem that I had.
RIP Neil Armstrong, You were a true American Hero!!! You will be missed, but not forgotten!!!
Seen this car wreck today, and yes the driver was killed. You would be surprised how flat the front end of a small car can get when you impact into a Bridge imbrutement at 70+ miles an hour. I know it’ll be terrible for his family, but he won’t have to worry about anything anymore.
Yep, still have this damn headache. The right side of the back of my head. It doesn’t matter what I eat, drink, how much sleep I get or don’t. It’s just there.
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